Kings, Counts, Moles, & Roethlisbergers
In the comments section of a recent post on the great Metropolitans site, Bookie D accused Toasty Joe of being someone "who can't bring themselves to read The Post because of politics." While I do make it a practice of avoiding all things Murdoch, there are other reasons at play why I eschew the Post: Namely, slapdash reporting, infantile gimmicky covers that put the National Enquirer to shame, and, most importantly, a sports section which I feel is inferior - vastly inferior - to the Daily News (who features such noted scribes as my soul-brother Mike Lupica, Bill Madden, Lisa Olsen, Gary Myers, etc. etc. etc.). Today, however, I must give both papers equal props. While this may change in the coming months, as of right now, Tuesday, June 13, 2006, the Mets are the Kings of NY. To quote Jules Winnfield, "what's happened here is a miracle, and I want you to fucking acknowledge it!" Well, today, both tabloids have properly done so.
Moving on, yesterday Count Choculitis made a great comment about how the Yankees can't use injuries as an excuse, since they've built their team around aging, rickety veterans. I was thinking the Count should call into the very radio show he vilified, Michael Kay's show on 1050, and make this point. I think it would go a little....something...like...this....
Kay: Next up, let's go to David in Manhattan. Take it away, David.
Count: Yeah, Michael, I think everyone's missing one thing: If you build your team around over-the-hill veterans, you have to live with the consequences when they get inju--[CLICK]
Kay: OK, we've had some technical problems with David, so let's go to Anthony from the Bronx.
Anthony: Yeah, Mikey!!! What up! I was thinkin' we need some pitchin', so how bout we trade, uh, Miguel Cairo for Brandon Webb?
In other news, there's a hilarious new site out there called "Lastings Milledge Facts," which is loosely based on the whole Chuck Norris internet phenomenon that's exploded in recent months. It's inspired me to come up with the top 5 facts about Carlos Beltran's mole:
1. Carlos Beltran is hitting .297. His mole is hitting .311.
2. Carlos Beltran's mole is visible from outer space.
3. Carlos Beltran's mole has its own gravitational field.
4. Only three things in life are for certain: Death, taxes, and Carlos Beltran's mole.
5. In the last election, Carlos Beltran supported John Kerry. His mole supported George W. Bush.
See, this is what happens when I have nothing to write about following an off-day.
***Edit - per Mr. Met's suggestion, I've added a "Carlos Beltran's Mole Facts" section to the sidebar. It will be periodically updated to reflect reader contributions and/or my own psychotic ideas. Note, I would like to cap the list at 10, so every time I get a new one, it will be evaluated against the existing 10. If it passes muster, one of the 10 will be knocked off. Sort of like a "Weakest Link" kind of deal.***
Finally, a quick word on Big Ben, who cracked his melon open on a Pittsburgh street yesterday. I'm sick and tired of hearing Libertarians screech about "personal choices" in this situation. This is a guy who has a family and friends who (presumably) love and care about him, who has the entire Pittsburgh Steelers organization lining his pockets and depending on him, and who has hundreds of thousands of fans who worship him. But I guess all of those people can go fuck themselves, because Big Ben wants to feel the wind run through his scraggly hair. It's the absolute pinnacle of selfishness. Put on a fuckin' helmet.