David Wright....Needs A Haircut....Shawn Green....Needs A Haircut...

Let me say right off the bat that if you don't get the De La Soul reference, I don't want to know you.

Second, I would like to dedicate today's post to everyone's favorite de facto "ace," Thomas Michael Glavine. With all the hub-bub and hoo-hah over John Maine's dominance, Ollie Perez's flashes of brilliance, El Duque's ailments, and Mike Pelfrey's meltdowns, it kind of feels like Glavine's performance has been lost in the shuffle. The guy is kicking ass and taking names right now, and must be acknowledged. (As Martin Prince would say, "My geode must be acknowledged!"). He's 4-1 and could easily be 6-0 with a little run support. Keep it up, Tommy. 300 may not be as sexy to the general public as 755, but those of us in the know realize it's equally impressive.

(1) Lovin' the new buzzcuts. How perfect is it that Aaron Heilman initially refused to do it (apparently he did it after the game). Could this guy be a bigger drip? I mean, seriously. Anyway, it looks like the only holdouts were Heilman and Glavine (both did it after the game), Sele (family portrait scheduled), and Reyes (says he'll consider doing it tomorrow). (Lisa Olsen has it all covered). In short, it looks like the entire roster could be pie-bald by the time they get back to NYC. Love it. I always associate team buzzcuts with what the Knicks used to do before each playoff run under Van Gundy. Of course, the only holdout every year was Pat Ewing, who chose to cling to his circa-1989 fade-cut like grim death.

(2) Cerrone wrote about this already, so he's stolen my thunder, but is there a more annoying sight in baseball than Barry Bonds slowly dismantling his ten tons of body armor with all the speed of a slug on quaaludes after being issued a walk? What, the steroids aren't giving him enough of an advantage? The first thing I'll do when I am named commissioner (once I've abolished the DH) is to ban all body armor, without exception. Got a gimpy toe that you're trying to protect? Tough shit. Either suck it up or hit the bench, mister. (Yes, I know this implicates a few Mets as well, but that's fine by me. Get rid of it).

(3) When this series began, I said I liked our chances against Zito and Morris, but I wrote down the Cain matchup as a loss. Good call all around, T.J. I guess this means we'll lose today against Morris. Unless I just reverse-jinxed it again. Maybe I'll just shut up now.

Finally, the High Comedy Quote of the Millenium goes to none other than Roger Clemens, who said yesterday:

“If you think it’s about money, you’re greatly mistaken."

Sweet! As Suzyn Waldman would say, "Welcome home, Rawcket!!! OHHHHH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!! RAWGAH CLEMENS...IS BACK!!!"