Balls

This weekend we found out about balls. Who's got 'em, and who doesn't. Roll call, if you please:

Let's start with Ollie Perez. He's got 'em. Big ones, with that performance he rolled out there on Saturday. In a game we absolutely had to get, coming off the solid Friday night win, Ollie delivered in spades, cranking out an 8-inning, 102-pitch, 8 K performance for the ages. If we hang on to this lead, I'm going to look back at that performance.

Aaron Heilman? He don't got 'em. Yes, he tossed a scoreless inning in relief of Ollie on Saturday with the Mets up by 5. Yippee. But when we really need him to step up after the emotional top of the 8th yesterday and is presented with the "challenge" of defending a 3-run lead against a last-place team, here's his line: 1 IP, 2 hits, 2 BB, 2 ER. Very nice, you fuckin' stiff. GOD, I can't wait until he's not on my team anymore.

Carlos Beltran? Well, well, well....I've questioned this myself, but it turns out he actually has them. He played the whole weekend with his knees screaming in pain, and even makes a few catches at the wall to save his team. My hats off to you, my friend. Now start hitting the breaking ball, and all will be well.

Willie Randolph? At first I thought he had 'em based on his alarming "champagne" remark while the Mets were in the midst of losing a zillion straight games. But yesterday he lost them. Clinging to a 1-run lead in the 11th, with Wagner, Feliciano, Sosa and (shudder) Heilman all having been used, Willie turns to Aaron Sele to save the game. No problem with that - you gotta work with what you've got. But after Sele gets the first two outs on a grand total of 3 pitches, Willies PULLS HIM -- for SCOTT SCHOENWEIS! Look, obviously there's some merit to the lefty/lefty game. But its not David Ortiz we're talking about here, it's Jeremy Hermida. You're telling me Aaron Sele can't get him out? And if Schoenweis failed to get him, guess who's up next? Yes, not only a righty, but the best hitter on the team (Smirky Smirkerson), who the lefty Schoenweis would've had to deal with now that no one was left in the bullpen. After what Sele did with Ramirez and Uggla, I would've let him go after Hermida and let the chips fall. I'm glad it worked out, but that was a dumb, dumb move that reeked of disaster.

And last but certainly not least, the New York Football Giants defense, whom I had written off as eunuchs a week before. The magnitude of that performance in the second half yesterday - right down to the very last drive, the very last play, and the very last frickin' YARD on the field - cannot be overstated. Perhaps there's some fight in this team after all. Of course, next we get a team that threw up 56 points yesterday, so let's hold off on sampling some of Willie Randolph's champagne.

Honorary "balls" awards go to D. Wright (raking), Moises Alou (raking raking raking), and Ronnie Brown for his mind-boggling 41-point performance for my fantasy team yesterday. And to think I almost benched him this week. Now let's all root for Vince Young to put up 8 or more points tonight, and I'll be golden.