"It's.....A NEW CAR!!!!"
It's been a week, so I thought I'd catch up with y'all. Here's what's happened since last we spoke:
First, it was close for a while, but in the end the Giants laid a nice, fat, stinky turd at home against Dallas, just as I expected them to do. You can talk about Eli's somewhat shaky outing, the killer holding call on Chris Snee negating Jacobs' potential game-tying TD, or an invisible Plaxico, but to me, it all came down (once again) to the secondary. I have a question. How is Sam Madison still in the league? The guy couldn't cover Yogi Berra on crutches at this point. Also, I liked how they totally shut down Jason Whitten (who killed them in week 1), only to be torched by Terrell Owens. Sort of like the Whack-A-Mole game. Totally infuriating. There's no way the Giants don't author a third consecutive second-half collapse at this point. It's coming.
Second, as you might've already guessed, the Flitgirl and I finally got our new car! Rickey, take heed - you are now not the only kid on the block with a Volvo. Yes, I know what you're thinking. "Volvo? What kind of pathetic suburban soccer dad have you become? What happened to the freewheeling, hip, acid-tongued Manhattanite I've come to know and admire?" Well, I am happy to report that the particular automobile we've chosen registers a "7.4" on the bad-ass scale. See the picture above for a peek at our new black S60. (that's not ours in the pic, but that's exactly what it looks like)
Having now acquired a car, I must note that monthly garage prices in Manhattan are borderline criminal. However, I have no intention of falling into the "screw it, let's just park on the street 24/7, risk our car getting stolen, risk our car getting broken into, risk not finding a spot, risk having a family of crackheads play an all-night game of Parchesi on our hood, and wake up at the butt-crack of dawn twice a week to move it for the street-sweepers" trap. No, thanks.
Speaking of Manhattan garages, if our garage is any indication, I could spearhead a massive stolen-automobile conglomerate this week by doing the following things:
(1) calling up a garage and saying "I'd like you to have car #86 ready tomorrow morning at 10 a.m."
(2) showing up at the garage the next morning at 10 a.m. and asking for car #86.
(3) hopping in car #86, and finding that the garage has helpfully already placed the valet key in the ignition;
(4) driving away; and
(5) repeating the process all over again with car #87.
Seriously, where are the checks and balances in this system?