2000 World Series (Adjusted Results)
GAME ONE Original Score: Yankees 4, Mets 3 (12)
Cheater RBIs: 3 (Knoblauch 1, Justice 2)
Cheater Hits: 1 (Justice)
Cheater IP: 8.2 (Pettitte 6.2, Stanton 2.0)
Cheater Ks: 7 (Pettitte 4, Stanton 3)
Comment: In a one-run victory, 3 out of the Bombers' 4 RBIs were from juicers. Translation: Say goodbye to your Game One win, fellas.
Adjusted Score: Mets 4, Yankees 1
GAME TWO
Original Score: Yankees 6, Mets 5
Cheater RBIs: 0
Cheater Hits: 0
Cheater IP: 8.0 (Clemens)
Cheater Ks: 9 (Clemens)
Comment: The juicers didn't help the Yankees on the offensive side, but 8 out of 9 innings were pitched by a cheater who almost killed the Mets' best player in a fit of roid rage -- and the Mets still only lost by 1. In other words, Game Two has to go to the Mets as well.
Adjusted Score: Mets 8, Yankees 6
GAME THREE
Original Score: Mets 4, Yankees 2
Cheater RBIs: 1 (Justice)
Cheater Hits: 2 (Knoblauch 1, Justice 1)
Cheater IP: 0.2 (Stanton)
Cheater Ks: 1 (Stanton)
Comment: Knock off Justice's hinky, tainted RBI, and a 2-run Met win becomes a 3-run Met win. In any event, the Met win stands.
Adjusted Score: Mets 4, Yankees 1
GAME FOUR
Original Score: Yankees 3, Mets 2
Cheater RBIs: 0
Cheater Hits: 0
Cheater IP: 5.1 (Neagle 4.2, Stanton 0.2)
Cheater Ks: 5 (Neagle 3, Stanton 2)
Comment: A tough one. No offensive cheating here, and the Mets knocked out Neagle in the 5th despite his cheating. True, Stanton got 2 key strikeouts down the stretch, but I'll be generous and give this one to the Bombers.
Adjusted Score: No adjustment
GAME FIVE
Original Score: Yankees 4, Mets 2
Cheater RBIs: 0
Cheater Hits: 1 (Justice)
Cheater IP: 8.0 (Pettitte 7.0, Stanton 1.0)
Cheater Ks: 6 (Pettitte 5, Stanton 1)
Comment: In another close game, 8 out of the 9 innings were pitched by Yankee juicers. For the love of Pete, there's no way I can't give this one to the Mets.
Adjusted Score: Mets 5, Yankees 4
ADJUSTED 2000 WORLD SERIES RESULTS: Mets win, 4 games to 1
Woo hoo!
Parade tomorrow!
posted by Toasty Joe at 5:40 PM
16 Comments:
Toasty, OMG this is fucking hilarious. I'll be down the canyon of heroes tomorrow, waiting for the likes of Benny Agabayni, Timo Perez and Armando Benitez to claim what is so rightly theirs!
8:55 PM
You beat me to this post....great job. Imagine if Timo was juicing? He might have ran!
Great post.
11:30 PM
whoa game four should read FORFEITED to the Mets b/c of Neagle. other than that, i agree.
might need to adjust this later when Armanblow's use comes to light. Was he smart enough to use?
12:15 AM
Dude, Awesome! I think you should get a WS ring just for your studious observations. Who gets the MVP? Gotta be Piazza for fighting the evil lash out of the roid monster clemens. Bravo my friend, Bravo!
8:07 AM
I'm getting tickertape and confetti ready now. I say we should find some T Shirts that say: NY Mets/2000 World Champions*
10:26 AM
Not so fast, my friend. According to Baseball Almanac, Todd "Tank" Pratt played in one game in the 2000 series and reached base 3 times. Twice, after being HIT BY PITCHES! This heroic display made by his steriod-enhanced body clearly embiggened your team to new levels.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go curl up with a copy of "Nails".
10:47 AM
Damn you and your meticulous research.
10:48 AM
Now I can finally finish my career with the Chiba Lotte Marines in peace. Thank you Toasty!
10:59 AM
I'm certain The Bronx Lurker isn't suggesting the Mets give up their '86 ring due to Dykstra's steroid use. Clearly, the cocaine use takes care of that.
1:23 PM
Toasty - excellent post. Unfortunately, we have to listen to another insanely retarded comment from Lurker. How can you compare Todd Pratt and Lenny Dykstra to the Yankees leadoff hitter, cleanup hitter, top 3 starting pitchers and main set-up guy? Todd Pratt - the backup catcher who hit eighth in the lineup and only played in Game 1 and went 0 for 2! And Lenny Dykstra, who had not been a Met since 1989! Great comeback, Lurker. Keep prooving us right that Yankees fans don't know anything about baseball.
Of course, Toasty, you may need to adjust in favor of the Yankees to account for how many hits Jeter would have gotten if his crotch wasn't so itchy. That whole team was filthy however you look at it.
1:25 PM
This made me laugh outloud so hard that my coworker Nick Cuccia asked me what I was laughing about. This is histerical.
Tom, you know I'm a Yankee fan, but I had to laugh. At least we're the best juicers....
2:17 PM
If we must quibble, Mr. Sojo, Pratt was on base 3 of 5 times. I'm guessing that you're not sophisticated enough to understand OBP though, so I'm not sure I need to waste time "prooving" which of us is more retarded.
By the bye, while we're talking Mets catchers circa 2000, try to tell me with a straight face that Mikey P wasn't on the sauce. 475 foot homers, a body that broke down when someone sneezed in his general direction, aged in dog years through his career.
Mmmm hmmm. I'd believe that the Playboy models he escorted around from time to time weren't beards before I'd believe that he was clean. . .
2:37 PM
Lurker, I must protest. All we have to go by is a comprehensive, 400-page tome, meticulously-researched over a two-year period. If Mike Piazza's name isn't in there, you have to deal with it. Me, I was hoping I'd find Derek Jeter's name in there, but I guess I'll have to wait for the Mitchell STD Report to come out in 2009. (That one's for you, Sojo).
2:49 PM
Thanks Toasty. And thanks for pointing out my typos, Lurker. Another great comeback by you! And last I checked, Todd Pratt's Avg. was still .000 for the 2000Series. You do know what "Avg." stands for, don't you Lurker? I can't even believe I am even discussing Pratt. Offset Pratt with Glenallen Hill - there are still 7 other Yankees who were juiced up that year.
And while Piazza may have allegedly boinked Sam Champion, at least he didn't infect him with an incurable venereal disease.
2:55 PM
LOL. That may be the first and last time Glenallen Hill is ever mentioned on this blog. Savor the moment.
2:57 PM
Glenallen Hill had 16 dirty homeruns and 29 Roids Batted In in only 40 games for the Yankees that year (after the trading deadline). I would like to point out that without Glenallen Hill, the Yankees would never have even made the playoffs.
3:01 PM
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