This Is A Boat. Please Name It.
Well, I haven't checked in since last week, so there's a few topics on the table. I could talk about my experiences at the Giants' victory parade (it was chilly, I got there too early, and I caught a cold as a result, but Super Bowl Champs, baby!). I could talk about the fact that Willie Randolph said on SNY this weekend that people tell him he looks like LaVar Burton. I could talk about Brian McNamee dishing dirt on Debbie Clemens - snort - DEBBIE Clemens!! (First the Super Bowl, then Johan, then Debbie Clemens...this is like Christmas).
But I choose to eschew those topics, at least today, in favor of a new contest that I like to call....drum roll, please....
NAME TOM'S BOAT
That's right, long-time friend, collaborator, poker buddy, groomsman, outer-borough expert, music, film and techonology consultant Tom (Maybe I Can Help) has purchased a brand new vessel, not unlike the one pictured above. Rumor has it that he and Mrs. I Can Help are having some difficulty naming this sucker. So, we turn to you, the loyal reader, for assistance.
The person who comes up with the finest, funniest, wittiest, and most original moniker for Tom's boat will win the eternal distinction of having the aforementioned scow bear the winning name emblazened upon its hull for all eternity -- or at least until the repo man seizes it next year (I kid). Rickey Henderson, I'm looking in your direction here.
In the meantime, I'll get everyone started with a few of my suggestions:
1. "18-1" (probably won't go over with Mrs. Tom, the Pats fan, but I like it)
2. "Row V" (a fitting tribute to our least favorite spot in Shea Stadium before it's destroyed)
3. "Meister Bait" (you know, like Meister Brau....oh, wait)
4. "The Derek Jeter" (should attract many smelly, scaly fish)
5. "I Bought This With My Gambling Winnings" (why equivocate?)
The polls close in exactly one week, so get those entries in!
p.s.: I also considered discussing the fact that I realized this weekend that the guy on Entourage who played "Yair," the Saudi zillionaire who briefly agreed to purchase "Medellin" from Vinny Chase, bears a striking resemblance to Haus, f/k/a Count Choculitis. But that's another story entirely.