Whee! And Away We Go!!

...and with a burst of freezing rain, a chilly wind, and a limp-wristed toss from the palm of Nick Lachey, the 2009 season was underway.

So what did we learn today? I don't know about you, but I learned that I have severe, deep-seated emotional scars. Here we were, up by a run against - let's face it - a piss-poor team, and I'm nervous. Check that - I'm terrified. Just terrified. Why? Because here comes the bullpen. Oh lord almighty, the bullpen, not the bullpen, anything but that bullpen. Honestly, just the word "bullpen" gave me intestinal distress all winter. I couldn't even use the words "bull" or "pen." If someone told me a lie, I'd call them a "horseshit" artist. I did all of my crossword puzzles with a "bic." You get the idea.

Ah, but where there once was a Heilman, there is a Green. Where there once was a Wagner, there is a K-Rod. And where there once was a Sanchez, there is a Putz. (heh heh - that's one Putz joke down, 161 to go). 3.2 innings, zero runs. Freaking suh-weet. We'll see if it's a trend, but it will definitely take a shitload more of these performances to stop me from chewing my cuticles every time that bullpen door swings open. Bullpen. Bullpen. Maybe one day it might actually feel good to say it.