OK, Enough of This Crap - I'm Posting
Man, I don't know what the heck's going on with my blogger jones this season. Either the Mets finally killed it, or it died of natural causes. I think it's a little of both.
For those not in the know, I previously spent three full seasons offering insight, perspective, humor, and non-Sabermetric-related analysis of this here baseball team. So why have I chosen this season - in which so much has happened - to stand largely mute? Could it be the back-to-back horrific finishes the past two years? The crippling injuries this season? The shoddy defense or untimely hitting? The fact that our lineup is now packed with more scrubs than a Clorox convention? Oliver Perez?
Once again, I'm going with all of the above.
But fear not: I'm here to tell you that Toasty Joe is going to fight his demons. After all, what would a third consecutive year of bad baseball be if we didn't have gallows humor? And that's what I aim to provide.
Now, having said all of that, I must tell you - from about 11:00 p.m. last Friday night to maybe 4:00 p.m. the next day, I was thoroughly and utterly convinced of something: The Mets, with help from Luis Castillo, had done something that I didn't think it was possible to do:
They broke baseball.
I don't mean they blew a game, broke their fans' hearts, and so forth. I mean they broke baseball. Permanently. As in, there is no longer any need or any point to me watching any baseball games. Not just this season, but ever. That's how soul-crushing, stomach-destroying, and mind-annihilating Friday night's turn of events was. Had I been updating this blog regularly, that would've been my headline on Saturday morning: "The Mets broke baseball."
But of course, they didn't really break baseball. (Although yours truly nearly broke his head slamming it against a wall). In fact, they somehow made it MORE tolerable. For example, after a splendid victory on Saturday, they went out and took a complete dump on the field in a 15-0 drubbing on Sunday. Did I give a shit? Not really. And then last night - they blow a 1-run lead in the 9th and lose the game. Did I gnash my teeth and stomp and curse? No chance.
For you see, I learned something last week: No matter how bad a loss is, it's not June 12, 2009.
In fact, how's that for next season's slogan?
"The 2010 New York Mets: No Matter How Bad A Loss Is, It's Not June 12, 2009. Get your season tickets today!"